Friends.

I have a good many close friends. I'm very lucky in this. My friends are supportive, unique, and caring people and I'm unbelievably fortunate that they decide to talk to me. ♥

So. Now that we've established that I love my friends. A brief commentary.

My friends-from-the-real-world I can kind of understand. We have stuff in common. We go to the same school, or went to the same school. We did *something* and we know about each other. We know what the other looks like, sounds like.

Something I kind of have a hard time understanding fully is this: Internet friends. People whom you've never met and likely never will meet. Don't get me wrong, I have a ton of Internet friends, at least on Facebook. Most of them are Fullmetal Alchemist roleplayers, or Fruits Basket roleplayers, or people I 'met' on some discussion in some group or on a page or someplace. The ones I've actually talked to, beyond just friend'ing, I really enjoy talking to. I've 'spoken' with Envy, Edward Elric (likely several versions), Kazuma Sohma, Kyou Sohma, Hatsuharu Sohma, and Riza Hawkeye.

It is to the last that this post is tentatively dedicated. About a week ago, I got an alert on Facebook that "Riza Hawkeye" had accepted my friend request. Considering it the polite thing to do, I dropped a "How's it going?" post on her wall and figured I'd never hear from her again as is the norm for me and roleplayers. To my surprise, three hours later she posted back.

To make quite a long story short, Riza and I have been talking for a good majority of my online time since that first post, and... I don't know. I really enjoy talking with her; it's one of the high points of my day. But, the fact keeps crossing my mind: It's all fictional. It may be that I'm being completely honest and factual and stating actual details from my day-to-day life, but... her account could be as made-up as the identity she's using. This is not me saying "OMG I'm talking to a LIAR!" this is me saying... I don't know. It feels real to me, but then my brain gets involved and I'm like, "How real can it be when you're talking to a *made-up person*?"

If I was brighter I could make this interesting and relevent and smart and actually make sense. But I'm me. I don't know... this whole thing is a challenge to my optimism. I really do mean everything I've posted on Riza's wall. And I want to believe that the friendship that's developed is real, because if it isn't, what is real? I meant it when I asked her if she'd be my older sister. Isn't that real enough?

I feel kind of like a little kid, questioning reality. I don't know. I really do love my older sister, and I think that for now that's all that really matters. That's its own form of reality, isn't it? ;)