A tedious argument of insidious intent

There are good days, and there are not-so-good days.

Sunday was a not-so-good day. I mean, it was good. Nothing bad happened. (I was at work.) No one was rude or anything, no one complained about me being slow, no one said anything rude or anything like that. It just...

Sunday was the hottest day of the year so far. I don't do well in heat - I don't do well in extreme temperatures, period, but at least I can bundle up with cold weather. In heat... well. The coffee stand where I work is wonderfully insulated and retains heat beautifully... on hot days. On hot days it's like a bloody greenhouse. On cold days, it's a refrigerator. It's BRILLIANT, right?

So on Sunday I was working a seven hour shift, in 90+ degree weather (probably 100 in the stand, I should bring a thermometer of some kind one of these days), by myself, and the patronage was on par with the 5:20am commuter ferry. Somewhere in between the 5:20 and 6:20. FOR SIX HOURS. (One hour for closing.) And yes, tips were insanely good, but ambient stress levels were NOT.

Granted, this was through no fault of the customers. They were all wonderful - most of them were fine, just getting coffee and moving on, you know? A few were complicated but still fine. A handful were beautiful wonderful human beings who laughed at my 'I am stressed and worn out and trying to be quirky and personable' attempts at humour, asked concernedly if I'd had a break, sounded mildly indignant that I was there alone (not in a 'You are slow hurry up' way, in a 'You need backup, this is too much for one person' way), and/or were generally lovely people in some way shape or form. I absolutely adore the clientele who come through the place where I work. They're all fantastic (well, the overwhelming majority are).

It was just... have you ever had a day where you felt like you couldn't catch up no matter how hard you tried? You weren't necessarily falling behind, but you started out a bit short and couldn't quite catch back up no matter what? Yeah that was Sunday. Add to it the fact that I really hadn't eaten anything, the fact that it was much much hotter than I can comfortably deal with, the fact that I'm still defencive from the time I was 45 minutes late and the other time I completely forgot about a mandatory class and the OTHER time I almost didn't have my food handler's permit on time...

So yes Sunday was crazy and hectic and somewhat intensely stressful.

So that's the not-so-good day.

I wish I could think of a good day off the top of my head. Everything lately has been full of so many mixed feelings. The other day when I posted about the woman who said she'd follow me if/when I leave my current job? That day ended with yet another lecture on how my room is a 'shithouse' and I think I ended up online until way too late just to try to erase that feeling of worthlessness.

And then there were just Days and nothing really stood out

And then I'm currently running on less than five hours' sleep, no caffeine, and no food (I should go eat something like SOON), and a reiteration of the nicest thing that's ever been said to me.

At work this morning, I didn't get 'MY' window (I was stuck MAKING the drip coffee, that window usually stresses me out like no other, but today it was pretty alright) but I DID get to end up NEAR 'my' window during the rush before the 8:45 ferry, and LO AND BEHOLD my lovely friend came through and she had a very pretty blue turquoise-ish looking necklace on and she laughed and said she likes 'our' morning routine and I thanked her for what she said last Wednesday and she said that she meant it. No matter what industry I go into, where I end up working, what I end up doing.

But now I am tired and crashing and waiting for my cousin to call me back (phone tag FTW) about tomorrow/Thursday and woo.

Off to go eat.